Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God
by livingondaydreams
Summary: A series of drabbles about everyone's favorite camp director. Second in the Perspective series. Fifteen: Bacchic R&R
1. Not That Bad

**A/N: This will be a series of drabbles (100 word pieces) about everyone's favorite camp director. For those of you who've read my other fic _Everybody Hates Hades_, this one will be similar.**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Not That Bad<strong>

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><p>He's really not that bad, he thinks.<p>

The few women that he loves, he loves truly. The few children that he sires, he claims immediately. He, alone among those glorified Olympians, treats his offspring with respect. Seriously, who _knows_ how many kids Apollo has had? Probably not even the sun god himself.

But Dionysus is different. Sure, maybe he hasn't had much _time_ lately to go out and make a couple of babies since he's been stationed at this miserable camp, but when he _does_, he actually cares for his lovers.

He cares, and that's more than the others can say.

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><p><strong>Love it? Hate it? Review!<strong>


	2. In Vino Veritas

**A/N: Well, I'm hoping that I did a good job on this one, not having ever had wine or been seductive or anything myself. They say that writers write from experience... so apparently sitting on FanFic all day only sets you up to write a story about that. Anyway, tell me what you thought- is it accurate? I don't know. Creative license. Happy Easter (if you celebrate it, if not, happy... today) and enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>In Vino Veritas<strong>

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><p>Dionysus sighed, swilling the contents of his goblet around languidly and breathing in the sweet aroma. A small sip confirmed it—the wine had aged <em>perfectly<em>. One of the best yet. (A dash of Aphrodite's special love potion helped, too.)

He looked up, a devilish grin on his face, as the woman lounging across from him giggled, fluttering her eyelashes quite seductively. After only a few sips, women lost themselves completely. Not that he wouldn't make love to them if they _weren't _drunk, but it was so much easier this way—and more fun, too.

Yes, this was definitely one of the best parts of being the god of wine.

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><p><strong>Love it? Hate it? Review!<strong>


	3. Every Time

**A/N: Sorry about the looooooooong wait! Inspiration is a fickle friend (and so is time). I'll try to update more, though, because I have a tiny bit more free time than I usually do. Don't worry, I still adore you all. And now, without further ado: **

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Every Time<strong>

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><p>The teacher fingers his bow hesitantly. "Your son Castor died bravely. You would have been proud…"<p>

Dionysus sits in silence, staring blankly at the floor. He's numb. Of course, all of his children have died, eventually. That's what mortals do. But he wasn't expecting—out of all the campers, _his_ son dies, the one time he's _away_ from camp. He should have spent more time with them, he thinks. Gotten to know them better…

It's the same, but simultaneously different with each new death. You'd think that the losses would grant him some immunity. But he feels it every time.

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><p><strong>Love it? Hate it? Review!<br>**


	4. That Lazy Dionysus

**A/N: Sorry for the relatively long wait. I updated the last chapter: high five to FireStar for remembering that it was Castor, not Pollux, who died in the Battle of the Labyrinth. I always manage to get those two confused... **

**This one features two old women gossiping about Dionysus (before he's a god). Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>That Lazy Dionysus<strong>

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><p>The crone by the temple cackled. "There goes that lazy Dionysus again."<p>

"He could almost be decent, if only he worked an honest day in his life," her friend replied, smirking.

"I wonder what he does down in the vineyard all day," the first chuckled. "Probably just sits there eating the poor farmer's harvest, the filthy layabout. I don't know why Agapetos hired him in the first place."

"They say he's making some kind of drink. One of Akakios's sons drank it, and…"

Dionysus smiled tightly as he continued on. If only they knew, he thought. If only they knew.

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><p><strong>Love it? Hate it? Review!<strong>


	5. Long Hundred Years

**A/N: Dionysus getting sentenced to a century at camp and no alcohol (the horror!). Enjoy, and please remember to review!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Long Hundred Years<strong>

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><p>"But, Zeus," he cries, "This isn't <em>fair<em>! Why should I—"

Zeus cuts him off, saying sternly, "You will do as you are told, because I said so. I warned you, Dionysus, and now you'll have to face the consequences."

Dionysus snarls, ignoring someone's smirk. "I'm the party god, for Zeus's sake! How am I supposed to help them? I could suffer the century with those brats if I had to, but _no wine_ for a _century_? You really expect me to survive that?"

The others grin, and Dionysus mutters, "This is going to be a long hundred years."


	6. Awkward

**A/N: Maybe a little OOC in this one. This is more of the drunken, grumpy Mr. D. than the glorious, Olympian Dionysus. Enjoy, and please remember to review!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Awkward<strong>

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><p>"So," Dionysus clears his throat, "how are you, Pollux?"<p>

The demigod looks up at him with a startled expression. His blue eyes widen, like he's taking in the fact that his father's _here_, trying to talk to him.

"Um, good. Thanks," he stutters.

Dionysus huffs a sigh. "I'm not very good at this. And how do like Camp?"

Pollux looks at him strangely. With reason, of course—he's been at Camp for years now.

"It's fine, thank you, Mr. D."

"For the gods' sakes, boy, just call me Father." He sighs again. "Why does this have to be so awkward?"


	7. Misnomer

**A/N: Sorry for the delayed update. Roughing it in the woods is not exactly the best environment for inspiration. Yuck.**

**Anyway, I hope you like this one. I'm not sure _I_ like it very much, but I think I'll come back to this idea in the future. Enjoy, and please remember to review!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Misnomer<strong>

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><p>"Tucker and Charles Sullivan, if you <em>ever<em> place six hundred bottles of wine on the front porch of the Big House again, I will _make sure_ that you remain dolphins for much longer than a week. Now go away before I change you back."

Hermes's sons hastily salute him and stumble out the door. He knows their names, of course. (At least, he thinks so.)

But it's easier to misname them. That way, none of those bigheaded heroes ever feel special. And when they die, he's under no obligation to mourn. (Not that he _would_, but it's the thought that counts.)


	8. Resemblance

**A/N: Sorry for the longish wait. I haven't had much time or inspiration lately. Hopefully, though, I'll be able to get some more drabbles out soon. Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Resemblance<strong>

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><p>"For your ingenuity, bravery, integrity, and honor, the Council offers you the highest gift of all. Do you, Dionysus, accept immortality?" The king of the gods looks down on him with a calm expression marking his countenance, but fiery pride burning in his eyes.<p>

Dionysus looks his father straight in the face, and anyone could see the resemblance. The strong jaw, tanned skin, and wild black hair mark them as family, but the determined glow of the eyes sets the demigod apart as Zeus's.

"I accept."

Zeus gives a rare smile. "I am proud of you, son."

Everything goes black.


	9. Guilt

**A/N: A quasi-sequel to the previous one. I'm on a bit of a Dionysus kick, so expect more updates soon :) If anyone has ideas for future drabbles, I'm taking requests. Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Guilt<strong>

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><p>He walks up to the goddess hesitantly, almost guiltily.<p>

"Lady Hestia?"

She turns with a smile. "Congratulations, Dionysus. Just Hestia, please; we are equals now."

"I wanted to… thank you. That was very noble of you, to give up your seat for me, to stop a war."

"I am sure you'll do the job wonderfully. The hearth is not meant for power." She gets a faraway look in her eyes and starts to drift off.

He still feels like a jerk.

"If you ever need a favor…" he calls after her.

Her fire warms, glows. "I'll know who to call."


	10. Crying

**A/N: DionysusxAriadne. I've always wanted to read something about them... so I wrote it. (Also, thanks to anonymous for the input.) Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Crying<strong>

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><p>She was crying on the beach when he first saw her.<p>

Dark hair tumbling messily down her back, face streaked with salty tears, curled up into a ball… she looked like a disheveled (but beautiful) goddess.

He walked up to her slowly and rested in the sand right beside her. He didn't touch her, and it took her a few minutes to notice that there was someone else there.

She looked up at him with a bewildered expression, eyes pink from tears, and then threw her head down on his shoulder, sobbing.

He would have let her remain there forever.


	11. Trial and Error

**A/N: Putting a bit more humor in here. I'm taking requests, if any of you have ideas. Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Trial and Error<strong>

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><p>He takes a cautious sip. The other gods wait anxiously, hoping that this is finally the one…<p>

"Nope." He scrunches his nose in distaste and snaps his fingers, making the can of Sprite disappear.

Athena groans. "Why don't we just let him go completely dry? He _is_ on probation."

"I will not go without some sort of beverage for an entire century. Unless you want a sudden spike in insanity patients…"

Hermes sighs and pulls another can out of the cooler. "Just choose quickly, okay, Dionysus? I've got stuff to do."

The Olympians were going to have a long day.


	12. Merlot

**A/N: Well, this is definitely a cheesy one. Dionysus with Castor and Pollux's mom. There's zero information about her anywhere, so in my mind she's from a wealthy vineyard family in Napa. Thanks to xFireStar for the idea! If anyone has suggestions, speak now or forever hold your peace, 'cause the conclusion's coming up soon. Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Merlot<strong>

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><p>"So, you grow all your own grapes?"<p>

She grins and nods. "Everything you see comes from my backyard."

"Incredible. I used to make wine, a long time ago." He sighs and stares at a plump bunch of grapes longingly.

"Did you really?" The woman's eyes sparkle with interest, and he can't help but wonder if it's for the wine, or for him.

"Oh, yes. Just north of here, actually," he lies. "I had to sell it a few years ago. Addiction, you know."

"Shame. I was gonna offer you some of mine. Dinner sometime, maybe?"

"You had me at Merlot..."


	13. Merciful

**A/N: Thanks to In the Closet FanFic Reader for the idea! Last call for suggestions. Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Merciful<strong>

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><p>"Oh, yeah, and I'm Heracles. You hear this? Sot thinks he's <em>Dionysus<em>!"

Dionysus grins, saying nothing. He concentrates, and vines slowly begin to creep up the sides of the ship.

"What… oh my gods!" one screams. The others scramble away, only to meet vines of their own, crawling languidly up their legs and arms…

"Okay! We believe you! You're Dionysus!"

"I think you need more convincing." Another grin.

The vines flick the pirates into the sea, leaving them wailing, pitching in the waves. Before they even realize what's happening, they become dolphins with a _pop!_

Yes, he's a merciful god.


	14. Same

**A/N: Dionysus's thoughts on Percy. Thanks to rebelwilla for the suggestion! Next up: the conclusion. (My apologies to those who suggested ideas that I didn't use. They either didn't quite fit with the rest of the drabbles, or I didn't feel like I could do them justice with a limited amount of words.) Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Same<strong>

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><p>"Um… a god?" Percy asks, his face pricelessly disbelieving.<p>

It's probably the way Dionysus looked when Zeus told him he was going to be a god.

Now that he thinks about it, he and Percy aren't that different. Of course, Dionysus is a god, and Percy's a demigod, but they started out the same. Rejects of mortal society. Favorites of their fathers. Great heroes. So great, in fact, that they were both offered immortality.

One said yes. He became a miserable drunkard. Powerful, yes, but did that really matter?

The other can still refuse.

And Dionysus hopes that he does.


	15. Bacchic

**A/N: The conclusion! Before you ask, yes, it's set in the future. **

**A million thank yous to all my reviewers: xFireStar, Unsuspected, I Swear On The Styx, Bookgirl333, Lauren Tobias, FallenAngel10086, ncalkins, Luna Nightshade, horseyfan, Eleos, Amelia Letter, highfivingjesus, YellowMouse, KenzieDaughterOfHermes, kaileyrox, Cherry Louise, In the Closet FanFic Reader, PureAwesomeness13, Reptile Princess, Hedley is Amazing, mrsspecialk, LaVerite, rebelwilla, SeaChick, MysticaTempest, and all the anonymous reviewers out there. Also, thanks to everyone who favorited or put this story on alert! You all rock.**

**If you liked this, check out the next collection in the (now officially named) Perspective series: _The Good Wife_ - A collection of drabbles centered around Hera.**

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><p><strong>Confessions of a Slightly Inebriated Wine God<strong>

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><p><strong>Bacchic<strong>

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><p>"…and that's how I killed Pentheus." Dionysus chuckles, bloodshot eyes wandering over to a terrified-looking satyr. He reaches out for more wine. "Oh, Agave was sooo mad…"<p>

The satyr hands him another goblet cautiously. _It's amazing_, he thinks, _what fifty years does to your tolerance._

"Arthur, go find Chiron! I want to beat him at… pinochle. Ha! That's such a funny word, isn't it?"

The door opens, and the centaur steps out. "Enjoying your freedom, Mr. D.?"

"Oh, don't call me _Mr. D._, Chiron! It's stuffy. I was just telling Arnold…"

Chiron chuckles and leads a stumbling Dionysus into the Big House.


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